You're A Leader...Act Like One
You may not be a CEO. You may not be a manager at your company or a supervisor. You may not be a teacher. A Captain. Or the star Quarterback. You are still, however, a leader. You are the leader of your own life. If you have children, you’re a leader. As a spouse or partner there will be moments in life where you will be called to lead. To make a choice, easy or hard.
Leadership isn’t about a title. It’s a duty. A responsibility. Even if you’re single, with no children, you still have the duty of leading your own life. By the choices you make, the people you spend time with, the work you do and the habits you have. Good or bad.
To be a leader that doesn’t mean you have to climb some ladder, its a way of being. And so as a leader you must know how to transition. You just had a disagreement with a co-worker. Do you bring that home for your partner or children to bear that weight? Are you going to carry the unpleasant energy and experience when you talk to the next client or in the next meeting? Will you take that out on the barista who makes your coffee not exactly the way you like it?
“Your job as a leader of yourself, your family and your employees is to make fast transitions,” as Randall Stutman says. Stutman is a leadership scientist and he continued to say in a private leadership Zoom session, “You play many different roles in many different places. Your job is to not carry the last conversation…if that means you need to settle yourself and sit out in the car for a couple of minutes before you walk in the house so you can now be Dad, then that’s what you need to do. But your job is not to walk into that house and carry with you anything that came from before.”
Your home matters. Your partner and children matter. They don’t need to feel what happened 7 hours ago, let it go. Just like your co-workers don’t need to feel the fight you’re having with your spouse. Or the meltdown your 4 year old had at school drop off. None of those things are related. The only connection is you. Your inability to lead yourself back to center so that you can take on the next thing in your day with a clear mind. When you carry that feeling of anger, annoyance or rage, it clouds what you think and say. And what you do. It makes you snappy. It makes you intolerable to be around. People don’t want to work with you.
So take your time and walk back to the car slowly after the 4 year old meltdown. Take the longer way into the office after the morning fight with your partner. Take a longer lunch or an early break after the disagreement with your coworker. Take a nap. Go for a walk. Sit in the car before going in longer. Write a letter to the person your mad it and when you’re done, shred it or throw it away. Abraham Lincoln would write a letter to the person who angered him and put the letter in his desk. He never gave the other party the letter. But the act of writing it all down helped clear his head. You can do the same. Get a journal.
As a leader of yourself, your family and your employees, learn to make transitions quickly. So that the old moment stays where it happened and you can be present and level minded for the next.
What are your thoughts on this blog? Comment below…
Thought Provoking Questions : What can you do to transition better? Who stands to benefit from your effort to do so? How do you benefit?
Daily I write and release a daily meditation. A quick read. Sharing wisdom and asking thought-provoking questions. Influenced by the obstacles, success and failures in my life and of others. Using history, books, current events, philosophy, and ancient wisdom. These writings are actionable, thought-provoking, designed to make your life better.
These writings are not to push a way of thinking on the reader or to force you into a certain philosophy or methodology. Rather to give you practical and real ways to handle life. This is an added tool. My writing is simply a discussion, a discourse, with all the material I read, watch, hear and consume.