You get a flat tire on the way to work. “Great, perfect! All I needed,” you say. You’re flowing in your work and you see the email notification that throws you off. Your boss sends you the 8th email in two hours. Your colleague or neighbor annoys you. You yell at your child. Your spouse says or does something that makes you shake your head. You just left the doctors office and you have a lump or your cancer is back.
Everything we experience does not require a reaction. Yet, all we do is react when something happens. Often overreacting.
The ancient stoics would say that you are allowed to not have an opinion.
Just wait to react. Because something has happened, an unfavorable event or situation, does not mean you need to react right away, or at all. Waiting to react may just be the best option. By doing so you have space to think. Space to come up with options if needed and possible. By not reacting right away you avoid the initial rush of stress and anxious thoughts. Your day isn’t all of a sudden ruined because of this thing or the call you just received. Life as we know will continue with or without us. With or without our participation or cooperation. So just wait to react. You may find that you’ll yell at your kids less. Your spouse or colleague are less annoying than you thought. And when that email notification does come in, you remain steady on your task, unwavering and undisturbed.
All of this is much easier to read here than it is to practice. However, in order for life’s everyday events to not get under your skin, it helps to have armor. It helps to have protection. When the things eventually happen and Murphy’s Law is in full swing, that is your moment to practice. To exercise waiting to react. You can build a habit of avoiding the reaction altogether. Not having an opinion. Because if you think something is annoying, awful or frustrating, you will inevitably react with that emotion.
You are dyed by the color of your thoughts, this another stoic expression. When was the last time you said or did something out of anger or frustration, and ended up with a favorable result? These are not helpful emotions or reactions. They ultimately lead to unhelpful actions.
So, go for a walk. Take some deep breaths. Maybe you want to respond to your annoying boss, so write the email but DON’t send it. Abraham Lincoln is known for writing his angry response to someone that pissed him off. So he would write it and then put it in his desk. Never giving it to the person who wronged him.
Maybe you need to take a nap. Go get a tea. Walk away from your computer or screaming child. Maybe, you just don’t have to react. This however, just needs your participation and practice. So that it can become a learned behavior. So that waiting to react can be just as automatic as having a reaction itself.
Thought Provoking Question 1 : How can waiting to react help you?
Dan Roman is a Husband, Father, and writer that releases a daily blog. A quick read on sharing wisdom and asking though-provoking questions.
What are your thoughts on this piece? Comment below…