Try The Opposite
“What assistance can we find in the fight against habit? Try the opposite!” Epictetus, Discourses, 1.27.4
We spend a lot of time crafting new habits. We read the books. Watch the videos. Listen to the podcasts. We hack our way to shaping, forming, holding new habits and trying to disconnect ourselves from bad or old ones.
Over the last year there have been few things I have found are as practical, useful and meaningful as Stoicism. The practicality comes from this philosophy being thousands of years old and it can still apply today. It’s useful when we need it most. When we stress and worry about things outside our control, when we feel angry or we feel lust. It’s made me a better father, husband and it has improved me from within. Stoicism is a meaningful practice because it helps shape what is truly important to you and it pulls you away from any problem so that you can see it with clarity. It is a philosophy to return to at all times, in good moments and bad.
No. I have nothing to sell you. Nothing to push you towards, except the pursuit of excellence. I certainly, am not here to convert you to Stoicism or any other form of philosophy or religion. This philosophy is not a feel good practice. It is not religion. It is not wishing something into existence or manifesting. Stoicism is a practice that challenges us to be better in our work and our lives. It requires us to put in the work. As they say in AA, it works if you work it. In our friendships and intimate relationships. In our families and with strangers in our community. The purpose is to have a steady reminder that you are in control of your mind: what you say, and do and think.
So this morning if you find yourself upset, angry or disappointed in yourself remember, you control how you treat yourself. More importantly, you can do the opposite of why you feel the way you feel. Habit forming and shaping is not just what you do repeatedly. Often, it’s not doing something. If you want to stop drinking that for a time you should stop going out with friends who drink. If you want to be a nicer co-worker start saying good morning to the people you work with.
Trying the opposite has powerful results. We all want to make changes for the better and be better people. But have you tried the opposite so that you can be who you want to be?
Thought Provoking Question 1 : What habit can you get better at or let go simply by trying the opposite?
Dan Roman is a Husband, Father, and writer that releases a daily blog. A quick read on sharing wisdom and asking though-provoking questions.
What are your thoughts on this piece? Comment below…
For me that would be procrastination. I am 100% guilty of procrastination. I can give you a million reasons depending on what I am procrastinating; however, the truth is I am just not doing it because I am either lazy or do not want to. I will say 95% of the time, what I am procrastinating still gets accomplished and done well for the most part but along with that is the stress, frustration, and constantly asking myself “what did I not do” and mad at myself for waiting last minute. I have already been working on this, when I think of doing something I will get up and get it done before I have a chance to think about why doing it later will be fine but still I have moments where I go back to old habits and have to keep resetting and reminding myself to stop.