The Wisdom To Know The Difference
February 11, 2026
THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
We write and talk a lot about wisdom here. About what it is, should be. How we can apply these concepts to the virtue of wisdom. In doing the right thing. In doing good for and towards everyone. How we are all, one.
Lately, my Mothers has been with me in spirit - she passed away in 2020. I’d like to bring to you a moment of wisdom she demonstrated that is likely the reason I am able to type this blog today.
My brother in me grew up in Hartford, Connecticut. Both he and I were born in the 80’s; my brother at the beginning and me towards the end. It was the heat of the crack epidemic. A lot of violence in the city and gang activity - of which, many in our family had heavy ties and high ranking positions in. Our family grew up close. We spent a lot of time together other than the typical holidays. My brother and me as you can imagine with some of your experiences, were very close to our cousins.
Mom could see what was to come for her young boys. She was single. Our dad while around, not very present in my memory. It almost felt like he was a guest when he came to visit. Looking at what was in front of her she saw - gangs, violence, drugs, death, families torn apart, law enforce presence and her two boys landing in prison or in a grave. In fact, in my teen years this is how she described it to me. Maybe she was right. Many of our cousins would spend decades in prison. One to my recollection, was on the FBI’s most wanted list. My brother, older than me, recalls the FBI banging our door in to arrest our cousin in the middle of the night.
I’m likely here because of her choice to move the three of us to the suburbs. My brother flourished as an athlete, artist and socialite. He has spent many decades self-employed and reinvented his career and loves it. It was a brave choice to leave behind all she knew. To move on the other side of the river. To have daily interactions with her family to just a few times per year because they didn’t want to take the drive. They say its not courage if it doesn’t cost you something. I say it takes a great deal of wisdom to know what to be courageous about. On display my Mom showed us what wisdom is - unpopular, scary, but required. Through her act of wisdom she embraced many hardships, she lived well knowing her boys were safe, and she gave us a chance. It was all emotionally and financially expensive. “But worth it, “ she would tell me.
To know the difference between a fear and a warning. To know the difference between an imagined trouble or a real danger. To know the difference between right and wrong. To know the difference between the family she was born into and the family she created. To know the difference from stuck to making her own destiny. Thank you Mom.
If you’ve enjoyed the wisdom shared on this blog and have taken anything from it, I’ve created a new blog, for those raising children, “Keys of a Father.” Where I capture my experience as a Father of two. Sharing my perspectives to make parenting and raising our kids better. This blog is for all: expecting or current parents. Step, Co., Grand, and foster parents. For adoptive parents, teachers and coaches. For those one day wanting to be parents or for those that want to parent themselves. Check it out below.
