January 11, 2025

Friday, January 3rd, I wrote a review/reflection of my year 2024. My fears. My mistakes. My problems. The uncertainty. Overwhelm. Insecurities. And more.

I mostly procrastinated in 2024. Here's some context. I delayed in certain actions. Yes, i wrote everyday, I read, I was a good father. But the regret of 2024 was not living my truth. Not being honest with myself and others. Avoiding hard conversations and allowing myself to stumble against my thoughts - the fiction our minds create that can be destabilizing. And they were.

I was not active in my own own rescue in 2024. I lied to myself and others. Waiting instead of deciding. Falling prey to comfort instead of what Teddy Roosevelt called, "living the strenuous life." Hiding instead of standing up. Kicking the can down the road instead of picking it up. Planning to act, instead of just acting.

I procrastinated. That is for damn sure.

While there were some good things in 2024, they get overshadowed by my procrastination.

For 391 consecutive days I've written on procrastination directly, in metaphor or in spirit. With story, quotes and some sprinkles of me in there. These writings and letters are born from within me, since I am a recovering procrastinator. Sure, you see me writing at 5am and doing it everyday for three years. But I come with flaws and I'm working with them.

So what happens now? The lesson is to live in truth. To be honest with myself and then with others. Don't lie, Cheat, or steal and if I must, - I will lie with the ones I love. If I cheat, I'll cheat death. If I steal, it will be from bad company.

The best way to be a father, man, person - is to show others in your actions the kind of person you are. And since I and we are all work in progress - show the person we intend to be.

I am not exempt from procrastination. However, a repeat of 2024 and how I handled that year, will never happen again. I've already decided to live in truth. Be honest and transparent. Say what I think and feel and don't bury or suppress it.