I Told My Wife I Don’t Want Kids
The consequences of money fears.
The consequences of money fears.
WE all have money fears. They may be part of our upbringing so they stay with us as adults. It may come from a place of ignorance, simply because we don’t have or seek exposure.
Money fears will make us say and do some crazy, stupid things. I did.
It was on Mothers Day, 2016. I told my wife that I did not want to have kids. She was not happy with that statement because my wife did want kids. That eventually led to our divorce. After reflecting on that time in my life and finding therapy, I noticed that it was a fear of where my than wife and I were with money. The lack of money and the mountains of debt hanging over our heads made me very scared. “How can we afford to bring a child into this world?”
The truth is, kids don’t need much but love for like the first 2–3 years of their lives. After that they want chicken nuggets, cupcakes and apple juice (have you seen the cost of groceries). My fear was communicated poorly to my wife. I should have expressed my concerns and spoke to her about what we can do, together to make this better. Instead, it got worse and our marriage ended.
I think I needed that lesson. All of it. Because not only did I clean up all the debt I also became very knowledgeable about money and secure in my action plan for the rest of my life with money. In addition, I created a business in 2020 to help others get clear and organized with their money.
In October of 2019 I had a daughter with my ex-wife and in September of 2020 my ex-wife and I remarried. Yes you read that right.
What changed? A lot. Primarily, how I/we talk and interact with money together. Today we are debt free, except our mortgage and live a safe, predictable and simple life. That moment comes to mind all the time. I recorded a podcast episode on that event. Click the link below to listen now!
Personal Finance Made Simple Podcast : Episode 69
Fear, absent from logic, leads to dangerous choices and outcomes. I am grateful that we were able to repair and rebuild it all. I love being a father! I love my wife! I’ve been a stay at home dad since February of 2022. If I knew being a dad was so awesome, none of this would have happened. But because it did it I appreciate all of this so much more.
Dan Roman is a Husband, Father, and writer that releases a daily blog. A quick read on money, marriage, parenting, self-improvement, development and his thoughts. Dan is also Founder/Creator of Roman Solutions, a Personal Finance Firm that currently provides coaching and education.
To connect with Dan visit: linktr.ee/bydanroman
Or by email : financialdifference@danromansolutions.com