“From $100k + to Stay-at-Home Dad, I Fired My Employer”
Dan shares his pain with his former employer, what he did to change the path for his family and what giving to hisfamily looks like.
I Fired My Employer
Arrival time 9:47 am.
Departure time 10:09am.
No, this is not my travel or flight information. It was Friday, February 11th when “I Fired” my employer. No notice given. I knew I was going to take this step 24 hours ago. I intentionally went to the office on Friday morning later than usual. I mean if you are going to “Fire” your employer, just do what you want, right?!
It was not a requirement for me to show up but I did anyway. I had some personal items in my office, mostly snacks. And yes, I did take some office supplies with me. I was hired to be a “Treasury Analyst and Accountant.”
Being a Bad Dad
I crafted an email that had one sentence. “Effective now, I am firing __________.” However, I deleted that line and started over. The debate internally was do I stay with a short email or do I go with a long email explaining my experience and treatment by this company? I went for the long email. Perhaps, it was the cleansing of my frustrations and pain. Reflecting, as time has passed and I have the capacity to think about my decision, I did it for my peace of mind, to change my world and that of my wife and daughter.
I did it for my peace of mind, to change my world and that of my wife and daughter.
Ed Mylett recently shared, “the most insidious form of child neglect is not pursuing your dreams.”
Why would I tell my daughter that she can be anything she wants to be, but I am not. Why would I tell my daughter to pursue her dreams or passions but I am not?
As a father, I am my best when I do work I love. Want to know how I know this? Because when I was at that job I hated, I was a bad father. I was not engaged with her, I was sad, depressed and disconnected. When I do work I love, I show up even better for her. When I can show up better for her I am better at my work. It’s a cycle that feeds from each other, not an either or.
Golden Handcuffs
I fired my employer for the following reasons:
Being put in a position to choose between my family or the office. They were mistaken, my family always win.
I was neglected as an employee. No onboarding of any kind and not given the tools and resources required to do my job.
I was lied to. During my interview I was sold on parts of the job that never came true.
My voice was muted, often.
No one cared about my integration into a new team or my success.
The above lead to a hatred for the job and also myself. I felt literal pain in my chest and stomach because I thought I needed this job. I had a side hustle as a financial coach were my business was steady and growing. But, I had more financial goals and the “set paycheck” was needed, or so I thought.
My choice to FIRE my employer was hard because of what’s known as the “golden handcuffs”, mainly the pay and the benefits. But is money really worth living in hell for 9–10 hours per day? I knew it was time when I sat in my garage crying, because I was leaving my daughter for this place! NEVER.
I do not want my daughter to grow up with the mentality that she has to “deal with it” just because a paycheck is involved. What example am I setting for her? That her manager can touch her inappropriately and that’s ok? That she can be stepped on and mistreated, but that’s ok because that is her job? NO!
The Dad-preneur
I came home and became a stay-at-home father or how I like to call it a Dad-preneur. As a result, this allowed my wife to re-enter the workforce, as she has been home since September of 2019, one month before giving birth to our daughter. My decision to FIRE my employer went from a difficult decision to an obvious choice. It has reaped many blessings for my family. My wife found work with a company that treats her well on March 7th, 2022.
This is my time to give my wife space and time to explore what gives her excitement and support here in that. She can now find her purpose! Coming home means that I can spend time with our daughter and help her mind grow. This stage of our daughters life is vital for her development and it is the gift of a lifetime to be part of that.
Coming home also means that I have a little more time to work in my business and on myself to be a better husband, father and financial coach. It shows my daughter and everyone watching that gender roles do not exist. It demonstrates to my daughter the importance of family, mental well-being and safety. By making the choice to be a stay at home father, it shows my wife and daughter just how much I love them.
Dan Roman is a Husband, Father and Founder/Creator of Roman Solutions, a Personal Finance Firm that currently provides coaching and education.
Connect with Dan at: https://linktr.ee/bydanroman
Or my email : financialdifference@danromansolutions.com
Dan spent a few years as a professional accountant and since 2020 as a Financial Coach. His own experience with money has called him to contribute in this money space and the experience of his clients being coached by him. Visit https://danromansolutions.com/ for more!