6 Months Since “I FIRED MY BOSS”
I FIRED MY BOSS…NOW WHAT
I FIRED MY BOSS…NOW WHAT
February 11, 2022 I walked in to my corporate accounting job, gathered my things and walked out. NO NOTICE given! To get you up to speed, the article I first wrote is linked below:
“From $100k + to Stay-at-Home Dad, I Fired My Employer”
Dan shares his pain with his former employer, what he did to change the path for his family and what giving to…medium.com
My reasons for leaving were several and its already been six months. I feel called to say the following for those of you who want to leave a job you hate or if you want something else for your life. It’s more important to run towards something, than to run away from something. Have a plan.
“I FIRED MY BOSS,” now what? It is very easy to sit on the HIGH of quitting your job without notice and just sit at home doing nothing. You’ll soon see without a plan, how bad of a decision that was.
So let me reflect on my time so far as a Stay-at-home Father or how I like to call, being a “Dad-preneur” while working in my business.
I thought I would have more free time:
Actually, I have less free time and most of it used by the attention my daughter needs and her energy. Now, I have developed a stronger routine since most of my day is accounted for. So I am awake at 3am for “me time,” I work out or help clients while she naps and sleeps at night. Rinse and repeat the next day. By 9pm I am falling asleep while talking to my wife.
Emotionally, I was not ready:
I thought I could handle this with ease. Truth is, some days are hard. My daughter consistently tests my patience, pushes the boundaries of gravity and physics, and I still need to be sharp and present. Not to mention I need to be a husband and my clients hire me for a job that I must perform. So as the days pile on to weeks and then months, it is easy to just let my emotions get the best of me. Some days I am cranky, other days I am just hoping it all goes well. On the contrary, I wasn’t ready for how the bond between my daughter and I would grow. She is extremely attached to me and I to her! I think of her every minute I am away from her. I open her room door at night while she sleeps just to watch. I did not know this would happen.
Never good enough:
I love being home with her and taking this role for my family. The best decision I’ve made. The part that sucks is reflecting at night and thinking you could have done better. Was I mean to her today? Was I stern or impatient? Over the past month I have come to realize that one day, soon, I will have to let her go to preschool and I’ll miss her. And this breaks my heart. I’ll only get what is left of her after she gets home. You don’t find out until she is 15, 18, or 25 just how well you did as a parent. Let that sink in.
Success is not certain:
I love the false narrative that just because I have a small business that I must be doing well. I am blessed to be where I am and to have the choices I have. But, some months are great and other months are not. I spent the month of May sick which means no new clients. I spent June catching up on May and I added no new clients in June. Being self-employed I am only as effective as I can and choose to be. Its easier after a long and difficult day with my daughter to lay on the couch and do nothing. That is ok behavior one day here or there. But what ends up happening to many is two nights turns to a week, which then becomes a month. In my old “job” I could just show up, log in and sit there with zero effort. This is NOT the case when you have a business you want to grow. Or at minimum, honor your commitments you have already been paid for.
This is fatiguing:
I wake up at 3am to have my time. I don’t do it to chase some illusion that success means getting up early. To read more about my thoughts on a morning routine, read it below:
The “Morning Routine” Is a Scam…Here’s Why.
Your “morning routine” will not guarantee success.medium.com
I do it to be sane, to be my best self for my wife, daughter and clients. I do it because when I don’t, I am not myself and the people around me do not get the best parts of me. My daughter is an early riser, up between 5–6am daily. She naps for 2 hours and then she is in bed by 7–8pm. The bedtime routine is chaotic because she knows it's bed time and the Tasmanian devil awakens. She gets a second wind of crazy, loud and destructive behavior. At this point, my mind mostly just wants to shut down and give up. But I’ve made it this far, just a little more. During the week I must create time to workout, be with my wife, set play dates for my daughter, entertain her, create activities for her/us to do, read to her, play with her, take her on walks (she loves walks), run errands, communicate and work with clients, brainstorm for new content, create content, edit content, post content, work social media, get a haircut, cut the grass, repair/maintain our home, read, listen to my favorite podcasts, write, journal, pray, read the bible, meal prep, skin care, self care, sleep, be a good brother and a decent son and walk the dog (I think that sums most of it up) Oh! And potty training.
Keep it simple:
I am a one man show in my business and at home(until my wife shows up from work and by then she is mentally spent also). So it’s against everything I believe in to not change or look for change in this stage of being a Dad-preneur. This means I do not make sudden changes, or take on projects that require more time than I have to give and stay in my lane! I have had to pass up on opportunities to expand my reach or take on additional revenue simply because of where I am now. Being a stay-at-home father is temporary until it is her time to enter preschool. So I just stay in my lane, at my speed, on cruise control is the best choice I can make.
Patience:
It’s a requirement.
Except, a child can test every part of your patience. My favorite is trying to convince her to eat what’s on her plate because she was the one that asked for it. I have countless stories of failed meals because she wants to be difficult or ask to eat ice instead of what’s on her plate. God help me! I need to show patience for her and my wife. As all working parents come home they have questions about the day that you do not care to answer. I know because when I was the working parent and she was the stay at home, I had the same questions. Patience for my clients involve remembering that they also have a life and other obligations. They may show up late for an appointment, not be fully engaged or not do their homework as they agreed they would.
I’m a terrible friend:
With my focus on home, life, and business, my friendships gets less attention. Especially if the friend does not have kids. Why? Time and mental capacity. I would have to schedule them in to ensure I wasn’t a total jerk. Most times it was breakfast at my home since I would have been doing that anyway, so I “kill two birds with one stone.”
Keep it real:
I want to share that my business has grown, that I am making more money and that I am the busiest I’ve ever been in my business. But none of those things are true. Since being home full-time my business has not grown much, I was fired by a client (for asking too many questions), and I have to constantly remind myself that this is all for my family.
Starting your own business or building your idea/dream will never go as planned. It will not be an upward trend each day. Its hard.
Thank you God:
None of this would be possible without God. He gave me the ability get out of debt and become financially responsible. In addition, to start a business and work full time. Being able to save enough money in my business and in personal accounts to be good. None of the decisions I have been able to make would be possible without the planning, work and blessings. My family is healthy, comfortable, happy, safe and loved. Sounds like success to me.
Dan Roman is a Husband, Father and Founder/Creator of Roman Solutions, a Personal Finance Firm that currently provides coaching and education.
Connect with Dan at: https://linktr.ee/bydanroman
Or by email : financialdifference@danromansolutions.com
Dan spent a few years as a professional accountant and since 2020 as a Financial Coach. Dan’s experience with his own financial journey and the experience of his clients being coached by him has called him to contribute in this money space .
Visit https://danromansolutions.com/ for more!